I be a total Snoop Dogg hustla much like any suckas, I wanna bust a nut on tha newer game yo, but I don't mind playin tha classics. I don't be thinkin I've eva played glitchy or jacked porno game before, though I don't be thinkin I wanna play any afta tha experience I had...
It started on a sick summer afternoon, I was playin Snoop Dogg Unleashed (I was horny bout how tha fuck you git ta explore tha whole fuckin ghetto up in it) until I noticed, outta mah peripheral vision, dat tha mailman had arrived n' put suttin' up in mah mailbox as usual n' left. I paused mah game ta go peep what tha fuck I gots up in tha mail... Da only thang up in tha Mailbox was a CD case fo' computas n' a note. I took it inside.
I looked all up in tha note first n' realized dat shiznit was from mah dear playa GodzillaFan1 (Letz just call his ass that), whom I hadn't heard from up in 2 weeks. I know dat cuz I recognized his handwriting, though what tha fuck was weird is how tha fuck it looked; it looked badly freestyled n' scratchy n' somewhat hard as fuck ta read, as if Kyle was havin a hard time freestylin it down n' done did it up in a hurry.
This is what tha fuck da thug wrote...
"Drew,
I can't take it no mo', I had ta git rid of dis thang somehow before dat shiznit was too late, n' I was hopin you'd do it fo' mah dirty ass. I can't do it, he’s afta me, n' if you don't destroy dis CD, he'll come afta you too, tha pimpin' muthafucka too fast fo' mah dirty ass....
Please Drew, destroy dis god-forsaken disc before his schmoooove ass comes afta you too, itz too late fo' mah dirty ass.
Destroy tha disc, n' you gonna destroy his ass yo, but do it quick otherwise he'll catch yo thugged-out ass. Don't even play tha game, itz what tha fuck da thug wants, just destroy dat shit.
Please...
GodzillaFan1"
Well, dat was certainly weird. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Even though GodzillaFan1 IS mah dopest playa even though he is one of the admins on this wiki, oh wait I am suppose to act like a wigger in this pasta, sorry my bad n' I aint peeped his ass up in 2 weeks, I didn't do what tha fuck he axed mah dirty ass. I didn't be thinkin dat a simple gamin disc would do anythang wack ta him, afta all itz just a game right, biatch? Boy, was I wack bout dis shit...
ANY way, I looked all up in tha disc n' it be lookin like any ordinary computer CD-R disc, except it had black chronic on it freestyled "SNOOP DOGG.EXE", n' dat shiznit was much unlike GodzillaFanz handwriting, meanin dat he must've gotten it from one of mah thugs, like a pawn shop or form eBizzle, or even Evil Patrixxx. When I saw "SNOOP DOGG" on tha freestylin of tha CD, I was straight-up buckwild n' wanted ta play it, since I be a a BIG Snoop Dogg hustla.
I went up ta mah room n' turned on mah computer n' put tha disc up in n' installed tha game. When tha title screen popped up I noticed dat dat shiznit was tha straight-up original gangsta Snoop Dogg game, I was like "Awesome!" Because like I holla'd earlier I was horny bout tha classics. Da first thang I noticed dat was outta place was when I pressed start, there be a was a split second when I saw tha title image turned tha fuck into suttin' much different, suttin' dat I now consider horrifying, before cuttin ta black.
I remember what tha fuck tha image looked like up in dat split second before tha game cut ta black; Da sky had darkened, tha title emblem was rusted n' ruined, tha DOGGYSTYLE 1991 was now instead DOGGYSTYLE 666 but that shiznit looked like it was busted up in MS Paint fo' realz, n' tha gin n juice had turned red, like blood, except it looked SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO fuckin hyper-realistic.
But tha freakiest thang dat was up in dat split second frame was Snoop Dogg, his wild lil' fuckin eyes was pitch black n' bleedin wit two glowin red dots starin RIGHT AT ME, n' his smile had stretched wider up ta tha edge of his wild lil' face. I was rather disturbed bout dat image when I saw it, though I figured dat dat shiznit was just a glitch n' forgot bout it fo' realz. After it cut ta black it stayed like dat fo' bout 10 secondz or so fo' realz. And then another weird thang happened, tha save file select from Snoop Dogg 3 popped up, n' I was like "WTF, biatch? Whatz dis bustin up in tha straight-up original gangsta Sonic game?", anyway, then I notice suttin' off, tha background was tha dark cloudy sky of tha Wack Starchronic Highway level from Snoop Dogg CD, n' there was only three save files. Da noize was dat creepy Cavernz of Winter noize from GhettoBound, only dat shiznit was extended n' seemed ta done been up in reverse fo' realz. And tha image fo' tha save file where you peep a peepshow of tha level you on is just red static fo' all three files.
What freaked mah crazy ass up mo' was tha gangsta select. I ain't talking about chicken' n gravy biatch. Well shiiiiiiiiit, it flossed only Dr Dre, Bow Wow n' ta mah surprise, Kanye Fuckin West! Now I was shizzle dat suttin' was up, I mean, not only is Kanye West a shitty rapper, and has nothing to do with Snoop Dogg oh fuck i am doing it again. but how tha fuck can you play as Kanye West up in a cold-ass lil funky-ass Snoop Dogg game, fo' bustin up like a biatch up loud?
Thatz when I realized dat dis wasn't a glitchy game, dat shiznit was a jacked game.
Yeah it definitely looked jacked, dat shiznit was straight-up creepy yo, but as a smart-ass gangsta, I wasn't scared (or at least I tried not ta be), I holla'd at mah dirty ass dat dat shiznit was just a jacked game n' there be a not a god damn thang wack wit dis shiznit fo' realz. Anyways, bobbin off tha creeped up feelin I picked File 1 n' chose Dr. Dre n' when I selected n' gots started. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. Da game froze fo' bout 5 secondz n' I heard a cold-ass lil creepy pixelated laugh dat sounded a wack lot like dat Kefka muthafucka from Final Fantasy before cuttin ta black.
Da screen stayed black fo' bout 10 secondz or more, then it flossed tha typical level title thang, except tha simplistic shapes was different shadez of red n' tha text flossed only "HOOD, ACT 1". Da screen faded up in n' tha level title vanished revealin Dr. Dre up in tha Chronic Hood Zone from Snoop Dogg 1, tha noize was different though, it sounded like a laid back melody up in reverse fo' realz. Anyway I started playin n' had Dr. Dre start hustlin like you would up in any of tha funky-ass Snoop Dogg games, what tha fuck was odd was dat as Dr, Dre was hustlin along tha level there was not a god damn thang but flat ground n' all dem trees fo' 5 minutes, dat was when tha laid back noize started ta lower down tha fuck into slow deep tones straight-up slowly as I kept going.
I suddenly saw suttin' n' I stopped ta peep what tha fuck it was; dat shiznit was one of tha lil' small-ass muthafuckas lyin dead on tha ground bleedin (That was when tha noize started ta slow down), Tails had a shocked n' saddened look on his wild lil' grill dat I never saw his ass have before, so I had his ass move along, n' he kept dat worried look on his wild lil' grill fo' realz. As he kept movin I saw mo' dead muthafuckas as Dr. Dre moved past dem lookin mo' n' mo' worried as tha noize lowers n' he moves past mo' dead muthafuckas, I was shocked ta peep how tha fuck they all died, they looked like some muthafucka capped dem up in rather gruesome ways; one of mah *****was hanged on a tree wit what tha fuck rocked up ta be his wild lil' fuckin entrails hangin out, a funky-ass child had all four of his fuckin limbs torn off n' a thugged-out honky boy had his wild lil' fuckin eyes gouged up n' his cold-ass throat slit. I felt sick ta mah stomach when I saw dis massacre n' apparently so did Dr. Dre fo' realz. After all dem mo' secondz there was no mo' muthafuckas n' tha noize seemed ta have stopped, I still kept Dr. Dre ta continue.
After a minute passed afta tha noize stopped, Dr. Dre was hustlin up a hill n' then da perved-out muthafucka stopped, it wasn't until I saw why; Snoop Dogg was there on tha other side of tha screen looking as gangsta as ever, wit his back against Dre. Dre wit his wild lil' fuckin eyes closed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Tails looked aiiight ta peep Snoop Dogg but then his smile faltered, obviously noticin dat Snoop wasn't respondin ta him, if not actin as if da thug was straight-up obliviouz of Dres' presence. Dr Dre strutted slowly toward Snoop Dogg, n' I noticed dat I wasn't even movin mah keyboard ta make his ass move, so dis had ta done been a cold-ass lil cut scene.
Suddenly I fuckin started ta git a growin feel of dread as Dre strutted closer ta Snoop Dogg ta git his thugged-out attention, I felt dat Dre was up in dark shiznit n' suttin' wack was goin ta happen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I heard faint static growin louder as Dr. Dre was but inches away from Snoop Dogg n' stopped n' stuck his hand up ta bust a nut on his muthafuckin ass. That forebodin feelin up in mah gut was growin stronger n' I felt tha urge ta tell Dr. Dre ta git away from Snoop Dogg as tha static grew louder.
Suddenly up in a split second I saw Snoop Doggs eyes open n' they was black wit dem red glowin dots, just like dat title image, thought there wasn't a smile. When dat happened tha screen turned black n' tha static sound was off.
It stayed black fo' bout 7 secondz n' then white text rocked up formin a message, saying, "Hello. Do you wanna fuck wit me son?"
At dis point I was creeped out, I didn't wanna continue wit tha game yo, but mah curiositizzle gots tha mo' betta of me when I was taken ta a gangbangin' finger-lickin' different level wit tha level title now sayin "HIDE AND SEEK".
This time I was up in tha Gangsta Island level from Snoop Dogg 3 n' it looked like every last muthafuckin thang was on fire.
Dre looked as though da thug was scared outta his wits dis time yo. Dude straight-up looked all up in mah grill n' made frantic gestures ta me as if da thug wanted ta git outta tha area da thug was up in as fast as possible. I was startin ta git fucked up by all dis bullshit... I think the chronic is starin to kick. I mean Dr. Dre was straight-up breakin tha fourth wall, tryin ta tell me ta git his ass outta there.
So I pressed down on tha arrow key as hard as I could n' made his ass run as fast as his schmoooove ass could, a pixelated version of dat creepy theme when you hook up Ice Cube all up in tha ARK as Kanye West from SDA2 was playin as I made Dr. Dre trek all up in tha desolate forest, tryin ta help his ass escape from whatever da thug was tryin ta run from.
Suddenly I heard dat creepy laugh again... dat awful, Kefka laugh... right afta 10 secondz have passed as I helped Dre run all up in tha forest, n' then I started seein flashez of Snoop Dogg poppin everywhere on tha screen, again n' again n' again wit dem black n' red eyes.
Da noize chizzled ta dat suspenseful drownin jingle as I peep Snoop Dogg behind Dr. Dre slowly bustin up on his ass FLYING; Snoop Dogg wasn't hustlin, da thug was straight-up FLYING! Da flyin pose his sprite was makin looked straight-up similar ta Chronic Snoop Dogg's flyin pose up in Snoop Dogg CD, except dat shiznit was just Snoop Dogg n' dat schmoooove muthafucka had tha black n' red eyes again, only THIS time dat schmoooove muthafucka had da most thugged-out deranged lookin grin on his wild lil' face, he looked as though da thug was trippin' off tha torment da thug was givin tha skanky lil ***** as he gained up on his muthafuckin ass.
Suddenly when Tails tripped (another cut scene) tha noize stopped n' Snoop Dogg vanished. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Tails laid there n' started bustin up like a biatch fo' 15 seconds. Da scene was rather upsettin ta peep n' I kind of teared up mah dirty ass. But then Snoop Dogg rocked up right up in front of Dr. Dre n' Dr. Dre looked up in horror.
Blood started ta come down dem blackened eyez of Snoop Dogg as a grin slowly grew from his wild lil' grill as he looked down all up in tha horrified playa, I could do not a god damn thang but watch.
Just up in a split second Snoop Dogg lunged at Dr. Dre right before tha screen went black, there was a funky-ass bangin screechin noise dat only lasted 5 seconds. Da text returned only dis time it holla'd "Yo ass is too slow, wanna try again?" n' then dat god-wack laugh came wit dat shit.
I was so shocked by what tha fuck had happened... did Snoop Dogg cappin' Dr. Dre , biatch? Fuck dat shit, his schmoooove ass couldn't have.. yo. Dude n' Dr. Dre is supposed ta be dopest playas, right, biatch? Why did Snoop Dogg do dat ta him?
I shook tha shock off as I was brought back ta tha character select, tha save file dat had Dr. Dre was different; Dr. Dre was no longer up in tha box itself but up in tha TV screen itself, which was flickerin wit dat red static, Dr. Dre's expression scared me, his wild lil' fuckin eyes was black n' bleeding, his black ass had gone white n' dat schmoooove muthafucka had a expression of anguish on his wild lil' face, Tryin ta ignore it I picked Bow Wow next.
Da laugh came again n' again n' again n' tha screen cut ta black again n' again n' again n' stayed there fo' another 10 seconds, dis time tha level holla'd "YOU CAN'T RUN".
I was straight-up freaked up by now, I couldn't straight-up tell if dis was a glitch, or a hack, or some kind of sick twisted joke... or anythang straight-up. But despite mah fear of what tha fuck happened next, I kept playing.
Da next level looked much different, it had tha ground of tha Scrap Dome unit yo, but tha sky background looked like tha main menu; it had tha dark reddish cloudy sky. But dat shiznit was tha noize dat creeped mah crazy ass up da most thugged-out: It sounded like Giygas' theme right afta you beat Pokey up in GhettoBound. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I also noticed dat Bow Wow looked afraid just like Dr. Dre did, though not as much, mo' rather he looked a lil unnerved. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude broke tha fourth wall just like Dr. Dre n' looked as if da thug wasn't shizzle bout goin on yo, but I made his ass move anyway.
Dude ran down tha straight pathway up in dis dark level, n' as da ruffneck did tha screen started ta flicker red static a cold-ass lil couple times n' then dat maddenin laugh came again.
Then afta all dem secondz of hustlin I notice nuff muthafuckin bloodstains on tha metallic ground, I felt a growin sense of fear again n' again n' again thankin suttin' wack is goin ta happen ta Bow Wow yo. Dude looked nauseated struttin down dis blood-stained road yo, but I still kept his ass going.
Suddenly as Bow Wow ran, Snoop Dogg rocked up right up in front of his ass wit dem black n' red eyes n' then red static rocked up again, when tha static vanished showin not a god damn thang but black screen wit text sayin "FOuNd YOu!", I was now scared, Snoop Dogg found Bow Wow already?! What was goin on?!
Anyway red static came again n' again n' again n' then I was back ta tha level, Bow Wow looked like da thug was panicking, n' Snoop Dogg was nowhere ta be found. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! And dis time dat high-pitched squealin from tha Silent Hood 1z final boss was playing.
Was dis some kind of boss battle wit Snoop Dogg , biatch? I hoped ta Dogg it wasn't, straight-up.
Suddenly Snoop Dogg rocked up right behind Bow Wow up in what tha fuck rocked up ta be pixelated black smoke, I made Bow Wow turn n' then punch Snoop Dogg yo, but Snoop Dogg vanished up in black pixelated smoke before I could even land a hit, dat shitty laugh went off again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Then Snoop Dogg rocked up behind Bow Wow again n' again n' again n' then I made his ass punch again, n' Snoop Dogg vanished again n' again n' again laughing. Bow Wow was panickin even more, n' even I felt like I was goin crazy, Snoop Dogg was practically playin wit us, da thug was playin a sick twisted lil mind game wit me n' Knuckles...
Another cut scene played as Bow Wow fell tha fuck ta his knees n' clutched his head sobbing, I felt his thugged-out agony, Sonic was straight-up rollin our asses BOTH crazy.
And then up in a split second Snoop Dogg lunged at Bow Wow n' tha screen went black wit another distorted screechin noise dat lasted fo' at least 3 seconds.
Another text message rocked up, "So nuff souls ta play with, so lil time... would you agree?"
What tha hell... Just what tha fuck is goin on, biatch? I started ta be thinkin Snoop Dogg was straight-up tryin ta rap ta me all up in tha game... But I was too scared ta be thinkin dis shit.
I was brought back ta tha main menu n' dis time tha second file box had Bow Wow up in tha TV screen, his bangin black skin was turn into a honky white color, his fuckin lil' dreadlocks was drippin wit blood, wait Bow Wow doesn't have any dreadlocks n' his wild lil' fuckin eyes was black n' bleedin too, n' dat schmoooove muthafucka had a look of sadnizz on his wild lil' face. I fuckin started ta be thinkin dat dem is tha actual playas trapped up in dem TV screens on tha save filez yo, but I couldn't believe dat shit... I didn't wanna believe dat shit...
So I shut off tha game n' took a funky-ass break. I took a nap, wish I hadn't, 'cause I then fuckin started ta have da most thugged-out disturbin nightmare, I was up in pitch black darkness, though I was under tha light given off by a lamp dat hung high above mah head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I could hear tha criez of Bow Wow n' Dr. Dre nearby. They was sayin shiznit like, "Help us..." n' "Why did you give our asses ta him?" n' "Run away, before he gets you like a muthafucka..."
Their cries took a dirt nap up as I then heard Snoop Dogg laugh, his fuckin laugh... it sounded a shitload like tha distorted Kefka laugh.
"Yo ass be a shitload funk ta fuck wit kid, just like yo' playa GodzillaFan, though da ruffneck didn't last long..."
I was scared n' lookin round fo' tha source of tha voice...
"Won't be long now until you join his ass n' all mah other playas..."
I saw his ass struttin toward me, flickerin up in n' up in nuff muthafuckin directions...
"Yo ass can't run, kid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo ass is up in mah ghetto now, nahmeean, biatch? Just like tha others..."
When he grabbed mah crazy ass n' I saw his bleedin black n' red-eyed, grinnin face, I raised up wit a gangbangin' fright.
After a cold-ass lil couple minutes I decided ta continue playin tha game. I don’t know why yo, but I had ta know, I had ta figure up why dis was happening... Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So I turned on tha computer, turned on tha game n' selected Kanye West next.
I still thought dat was wacky, playin as Kanye West yo, but anyway tha level title rocked up again n' again n' again n' dis time it holla'd "...", which I found straight-up freaky.
This time I was up in some kind of hallway, didn't straight-up be lookin like dat shiznit was from any of tha funky-ass Snoop Dogg games, though it has tha pixelated style; tha floor was shiny n' checkered, tha walls was a thugged-out dark greyish purple wit animated candlelight’s n' all dem dark bloodstains here n' there, n' there was a thugged-out dark red curtain hangin above on tha top part of tha screen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Every 12 secondz or so dat red curtain sways straight-up slowly yo, but whenever you playin tha game you can barely peep it move. Da noize was oddly pleasant, a piano playin a rather fucked up yet laid back cold lil' woo wop yo, but I knew better, dis was tha cold lil' woo wop dat played up in Hill act 1, only it wasn't up in reverse.
Kanye West didn't look entirely straight-up trippin like Dr. Dre n' Bow Wow did yo, but da ruffneck did gotz a suspicious look on his wild lil' grill as if da thug was just a lil' bit paranoid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude did a lil animation when I just left his ass standing, tha pimpin' muthafucka turns his head ta tha left n' then ta tha right at least twice n' then shrugs at me, as if dat schmoooove muthafucka has no clue where da thug was or what tha fuck was goin on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Even though I was scared outta mah mind bout what tha fuck was goin ta happen, I had Kanye West continue onward. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude did his usual hustlin animation (Yo ass know, when you've beaten his ass all up in tha end of a cold-ass lil funky-ass Sonic game n' you chase him) as we continued goin all up in tha hallway.
Then I stop at a long-ass flight of stairs leadin downward, now I was nervous, even Kanye Westseemed unsure of his dirty ass, though I pressed onward.
As I hustled Kanye West down tha stairs, I noticed dat tha walls have gotten darker n' mo' reddish; tha red torches is now a eerie blue. Then our slick asses landed onto another hallway, dis one was longer than tha last one (or at least it felt like it) n' then our crazy asses headed down another flight of stairs down, dis one was much longer, took at least 1 full minute.
And then I heard dat horrid Kefka laugh again n' again n' again n' then tha noize slowly faded until dat shiznit was on tha fuckin' down-low, as it did tha walls turned mo' dark red n' tha torches was a funky-ass black flame now, nahmeean?
When Kanye West landed onto tha 3rd hallway, I noticed he now looked straight-up creeped out, though tha pimpin' muthafucka tried ta hide it, I couldn't blame him, I was scared like a muthafucka.
Suddenly, Snoop Dogg popped right up in front of Kanye West tha same way da ruffneck did Bow Wow n' then red static. Da red static lasted fo' bout 15 second n' then it flossed mah crazy ass a most unpleasant image...
Da image flossed a hyper-realistic of Snoop Dogg standin up in tha darknizz where you can only peep his wild lil' grill while his head n' torso faded tha fuck into black, n' when I say hyper-realistic, I mean like he looked so real you could straight-up peep tha lines up in his blue fur, as if you could straight-up feel tha fur if you touched tha screen.
His face...oh god, dat schmoooove muthafucka had da most thugged-out horrifyin smile I had eva seen.
And thatz sayin suttin' thankin bout I saw dat image all up in tha start of tha game.
His eyes is wide n' black n' once again n' again n' again bustin up like a biatch blood (Which also looked hyper-realistic) n' there was two lil' small-ass glowin red dots up in dem black eyes starin RIGHT AT ME, as if starin tha fuck into mah mind. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! His grin was wide n' demonic, it literally stretched ta tha sidez of his wild lil' grill like a Cheshizzle Cat except Snoop Dogg had fangs, VERY SHARP fangs, much like tha Werehogz teeth except mo' vicious-looking, somewhat yellowish n' from tha look of it, dat schmoooove muthafucka had stainz of blood n' lil' small-ass bitz of flesh on his fuckin lips n' fangs as if he ate some animal. Da ruffneck looked he be on some serious chronic.
I stared at dat gruesome image fo' a phat 30 seconds, never takin mah eyes off it, I felt as if da thug was straight-up lookin at me, smilin all up in mah face...that face, it just took 10 secondz fo' it ta etch itself tha fuck into mah dome fo' good.
Then tha screen flickered wit red static again n' again n' again 3 times, n' on tha 3rd time I heard tha Kefka laugh, except dis time it sounded distorted, demonic even...
It went back ta tha image again n' again n' again except dis time there was tha text again n' again n' again though dat shiznit was messed up yo, but dat shiznit was pretty much one of da most thugged-out horrifyin thangs I looked at since I had dis game...
"I AM DOGG."
Dat shiznit was when I read dat message while lookin at Snoop Dogg when it hit me, I realized right there n' then.
This Snoop Dogg was a monster, a pure evil, sadistic, all-powerful, nightmarish, demented monster... n' all of his suckas, includin Dr. Dre, Bow Wow, Kanye West n' possibly GodzillaFan, is just his fuckin lil toys, n' tha game is tha straight-up gateway tha fuck into his chaotic, nightmarish ghetto n' tha straight-up Hell his suckas is trapped in.
Suddenly up in a actual split second I screamed as Snoop Dogg lunged all up in tha screen screechin loudly wit his crazy-ass grill wide open ta a unnatural length revealin not a god damn thang but a literally spiralin abyss of pure darknizz before tha red static came again, dis time much louder n' distorted, so bangin dat it hurt mah ears, I yelled n' grabbed mah ears as tha red static screeched fo' a phat 7 seconds.
Then it stopped n' flossed not a god damn thang but black screen.
As I sat there starin all up in tha black screen, one last text came up.
"Ready fo' Round 2, Tom?"
Da Kefka laugh, now soundin mo' clear as if Snoop Dogg was right behind me, played again n' again n' again 3 times as I looked at dat text up in shock n' mad drama.
Then I gots booted back ta tha main menu n' dis time tha third save file had a TV image of Kanye West up in tha same, tormented state as Dr. Dre n' Bow Wow; Kanye Westz skin turned a thugged-out dull white, his crazy-ass pubic hair drooped n' had whitened, his wild lil' freakadelic glasses broke n' blood is comin from dem n' dat schmoooove muthafucka had a mere dead like expression on his wild lil' face.
I looked at Dr. Dre, Bow Wow n' Kanye West n' I busted up a funky-ass bit, I pitied dem fo' tha agony they goin through, they was forever trapped within tha game, forever tormented by dat horrid hedgehog, n' always will be.
Then tha computer shut itself off, I couldn't turn it back on no matter what tha fuck I done did.
I sat there fo' maybe 25 seconds, horrified by what tha fuck had just happened...
Sonic is tha straight-up embodiment of evil, tha pimpin' muthafucka tortures playas whoz ass play his wild lil' freakadelic game up in mo' ways than one n' then when he gets bugged out da ruffneck drags you tha fuck into tha game, literally drags you ta Hell, where his schmoooove ass can fuck wit you always, as his cold-ass toy....
I can't git tha game outta mah computer n' shit. I be thinkin itz stuck up in there yo, but at least I managed ta turn it back on now, nahmeean?
After I sat there fo' 25 secondz I heard a voice right behind me, like a whisper...
"Try ta keep dis bangin-ass fo' me, Drew."
I turned round ta peep where tha voice came from, n' what tha fuck I saw made me scream...
Sittin on mah bed... starin right all up in mah face...
... Was a Snoop Dogg dildo, smilin wit bloodstains under its eyes.
Oh and I almost forgot UR NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!